Change

I just can't be a stable person, can I? The past few days have just been so odd for me. I've aquired an odd necessity to eat healthier and my only desire is to play piano. I've also been a bit creepier than usual, but that's irrelevant, I'm always creepy :P. Maybe this phase will stick around a while. Eating healthy and having more musical interest can't be a bad thing. The only problem is, I don't feel like I'm doing it for myself. I feel like I may be pressuring myself to do these things because I'm trying to make up for my recent failures, or maybe I'm trying to impress someone.....or maybe I'm just thinking too much. That tends to happen a lot as well. Oh well, on to business.

Video Games:
Ever since Sunday, I've felt no urgency nor any desire to play video games, but I have a dedication to my fans, so I took some time and made this video last night. Enjoy,



Before this, I attempted both Guitar Hero and New Super Mario Bros. Wii but failed terribly, so I just went to my "go to" game. It's not my best performance, but it get's the job done.

Music:
After school yesterday, went to the choir room while waiting on my mom. I talked with Mr. Fowler for a moment, and asked if I could play on the piano before he left. He said yes and left to go make copies of something. I finally got a chance to play Hey Jude on a real piano. It was surprisingly a lot easier to play than on a computer keyboard. Mom arrived a couple of moments later and came to the choir room, where she expected to find me. She seemed surprised to see that it was I who was playing piano. She even called my dad to let him here; he seemed to have little interest though. A couple of minutes later, Brady and Nolan showed up, also seeming somewhat uninterested. Mr. Fowler finally returned. My mom gave him the permission form, talked about the guitar beginner book, discussed my piano playing, and so on, while I continued on just repeating those three chords. We went to Walmart directly afterward, where my mom continued to brag about my piano playing. I take all these compliments with a grain of salt though. Anyone with 2 weeks of musical experience can play a chord; especially if those chords happen to be F, C, and B-flat (with the occasional A minor and D-flat transition, but whatever). I still have a long way to go before I'm proficient at piano, but maybe Mr. Fowler's compliments will finally convince my parents to put some effort into finally getting that piano my aunt has been offering us for two years. As for what I've been working on recently, I've been leaning "Let it Be" and on testing and recallibrating my (almost) perfect pitch. The on sharp and flat notes is making it difficult to get anything accomplished though. Anything outside of a C major and A minor is killing me, and this limits me to almost nothing.

Personal Life:
It feels as if I've gone to a "back to basics" mood lately. There's very little I feel I need or want, but the things that I do desire I NEED. The piano is my unrelenting focus right now, and the fact that I don't have a real one is really restricting my creative outlet right now, a time where I need one the most. At least I have access to one at school I suppose. The piano just doesn't fill this void though. I feel there's something missing in my life right now, and I just don't feel like I know what it is. Decisions, decisions...

Not really sure how how I'm feeling right now. Not optimistic, not pessemistic, just tensious. Waiting, watching, hoping, longing, needing...